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Are you beginning your college application journey and thinking of applying to the University of California (UC) system? If so, you will need to write some UC essays according to the prompts given by the university. This guide is designed to help provide you with some tips regarding the UC essay's format and structure to strengthen your application. Using the UC application streamlines the application process, allowing you to apply to multiple UC schools with a single submission. Hence, it's essential to make sure your essay is well-organized!
UC Essay Format and Structure
The UC essay has a maximum word limit of 350 words. There are 8 Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) provided by the university. You will only need to answer 4 out of 8 PIQs, so you can choose which prompts you feel you can answer best.
Introduction
Start with an engaging hook to catch the reader's attention. For a detailed guide on the different types of hooks that you can use, check out this post here.
Provide a brief description that sets the scene for the rest of the essay.
Have a thesis statement that connects the introduction to the body paragraphs. The thesis statement should highlight the main message of the essay.
The introduction should be succinct at around 50 words.
Body
The body of the essay should have around 2-3 paragraphs, with each paragraph explaining a specific aspect of the topic.
The body paragraphs should be focused on answering the thesis statement and should connect with the ideas presented in the introduction.
Provide evidence to support each point you make. This could be in the form of anecdotes, expressions of thoughts or emotions, etc.
Explain the significance of each anecdote or example provided - how does it relate to the main message you are trying to convey to the admissions committee?
Ensure that each body paragraph has a mini-conclusion that concisely wraps up the main point of that paragraph before transitioning to the next paragraph.
The body should be the most in-depth part of your essay at around 220-250 words.
Conclusion
Summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. This should concisely remind the reader of the key evidence and examples that reinforce your thesis statement.
Do not add any new information, examples or anecdotes to the conclusion. All new information should be placed in the body of the essay.
Wrap up the conclusion with a memorable line that will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
The conclusion should also be concise at around 50-70 words.
Example
Now that you know the key elements of what to include in a UC essay, let's look at an example from the Clastify website. The student has answered 4 PIQs and you can read all the responses here. In the example below, we will be looking at Answer 4.
The PIQ for Answer 4 is "Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?" The student's answer to this question is shown below, with the analysis broken into sections corresponding to the introduction, body and conclusion.
Introduction
I became an entrepreneur in the most unusual way. It happened through the aroma of my mom cooking breakfast. It was suspicious watching my mom standing nonchalantly in the kitchen when usually she'd be off to work long before I could even say "good morning." After Executive Order N-33-20 was ratified, my mom lost her job during the pandemic, so seeing her in broad daylight drowning herself with Korean Dramas, too discouraged to do anything else, made my home suffocating to stay in.
The student's hook (in blue) catches the reader's attention as it makes the reader curious to know what the "unusual way" was in which the student became an entrepreneur. The brief description sets the scene of the student's mother cooking breakfast, which then leads to the thesis statement (in orange) on how the student did not like seeing their mother discouraged at home, which made the student venture out of the house. This sets up the body paragraphs of how the student window-shopped to distract themselves which led to them setting up their business of reselling clothes.
Body
To distract myself, I'd skateboard around and window-shop at empty malls. Browsing the halls of the fluorescent clearance section was when I noticed a pair of jeans I once paid $55 for, discounted to a staggering five dollars. Curious, I checked other stores and discovered a commonality: businesses were oversupplied due to the lack of demand, resulting in lowered prices. That day, I came home with a plastic bag full of clothes and an idea - making an online resale business. I seized a marker, grabbed a map, and circled all the Macy's in Southern California in preparation for a road trip.
After nine hours of going from store to store, the car was filled with thousands of brand new, heavily discounted clothes. Following the arduous task of categorizing by size and design, I posted the pieces on Ebay. To increase sales, I researched company growth tactics and decided to offer free shipping on top of highly competitive prices, calculations that helped me develop a positive customer-seller relationship. Throughout my entrepreneurial evolution, my mom would continue to make breakfast. With every day that I'd say good morning, I realized that what began as a whim was a lifetime commitment to become someone who can make sure that his family had every breakfast and every dinner they truly deserve.
The student has used two body paragraphs, with each paragraph having its own focus. The first body paragraph focuses on how the student realized they could make money by reselling clothes, inspired by seeing a pair of jeans being sold for a much lower price than the student had purchased them for due to the discrepancy between supply and demand. The second body paragraph focuses on how the student implemented their idea by sorting the clothes, posting them online, and figuring out the logistics behind shipping and pricing.
This also links back to the thesis statement and shows a change in the student as their home went from a place where the student felt suffocated due to seeing their mother discouraged to a place where the student felt empowered by their business. Each body paragraph also has a mini-conclusion (in bold). The first body paragraph concludes with the student planning out the locations for a road trip to buy the clothes for their resale business. The second body paragraph concludes with the student realizing their goal of helping their family. The use of the phrase "make sure that his family had every breakfast and every dinner they truly deserve" also links back to the introduction as the student's mother is cooking breakfast, which shows a good flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Conclusion
While the unbearable thought of instability was suffocating to imagine, it was from these circumstances that l've learned to understand that without hardship, innovation is limited. So I move forward in life, and welcome any feeling of discomfort because I know those emotions, while temporarily burdening, are the catalyst to success.
No new information has been included in the conclusion. The student has reinforced the main message of the essay, which is that feelings of discomfort, such as seeing their mother discouraged, are catalysts to success such as leaving the house, window-shopping, seeing the mismatch between supply and demand, and creating an online resale business. The student has also ended with a memorable line (in bold), which is motivational and leaves a lasting impact on the reader.
We hope that this guide has helped you during your UC essay writing process. For more examples of UC essays, visit the Clastify website here, and use the filter on the left side of the page to search for supplemental essays for the respective college you are applying to. Good luck!
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