Comment: The student dedicates the essay to focusing on the deeper meanings of the works. The student would be advised to state the literal meaning of the poems "Medusa" and "Mrs. Lazarus". This would include stating directly what the poems portray literally. Literal meanings should look like this, "The book followed the coming-of-age story of Missy, a young violinist." Moreover, the literal meaning of both poems should be directly placed in the introduction for clarity.

Comment: The student focuses on the idea that the poems explore how the patriarchy enforces the transformation of women.

Comment: The student constructs a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction, however, the student does not mention the key concept of transformation here. Therefore, the student would be advised to stay focused on the line of inquiry in their thesis statement like so, "Women are involuntarily made to abide by the constructs of the patriarchy, which pushes them to transform, as reflected in the poems “Medusa” and “Mrs. Lazarus”."

Comment: The student explores the thesis statement throughout the paragraphs. The student is focused on aspects that show how patriarchy dictates female identity and enforces the transformation of women. The student discusses aspects like metamorphosis, transformations that are encouraged by the actions of husbands, loss of value, widowment, etc.

Comment: The student explores the thesis statement throughout the paragraphs. The student is focused on aspects that show how patriarchy dictates female identity and enforces the transformation of women. The student discusses aspects like metamorphosis, transformations that are encouraged by the actions of husbands, loss of value, widowment, etc.

Comment: The student explores the thesis statement throughout the paragraphs. The student is focused on aspects that show how patriarchy dictates female identity and enforces the transformation of women. The student discusses aspects like metamorphosis, transformations that are encouraged by the actions of husbands, loss of value, widowment, etc.

Comment: The student does not always focus on the general ideas that are portrayed by the interpretations. The student is advised to show an awareness here that Medusa's transformation may be symbolic of experiences that women in our world go through. The student can comment on the fact that Medusa's transformation depicts the consequence of relying one's self-worth on a man and his treatment. The student would also be advised to make sure that there are links to the general context of women in every paragraph.

Comment: The analysis, interpretations, and conclusions are highly related to the transformation of women enforced by the patriarchy. The student concludes each paragraph with a strong link to the effects of the patriarchy on women.

Comment: The analysis, interpretations, and conclusions are highly related to the transformation of women enforced by the patriarchy. The student concludes each paragraph with a strong link to the effects of the patriarchy on women.

Comment: The analysis, interpretations, and conclusions are highly related to the transformation of women enforced by the patriarchy. The student concludes each paragraph with a strong link to the effects of the patriarchy on women.

Comment: The student has missed an opportunity to focus on a literary device here. The student can comment on the fact that this is a "personification".

Comment: The student focuses on a range of features and authorial choices throughout the analysis of "Medusa" and "Mrs. Lazarus". The student focuses on features like imagery, tense, rhetorical questions, word choices, etc.

Comment: The student focuses on a range of features and authorial choices throughout the analysis of "Medusa" and "Mrs. Lazarus". The student focuses on features like imagery, tense, rhetorical questions, word choices, etc.

Comment: The student focuses on a range of features and authorial choices throughout the analysis of "Medusa" and "Mrs. Lazarus". The student focuses on features like imagery, tense, rhetorical questions, word choices, etc.

Comment: The student focuses on a range of features and authorial choices throughout the analysis of "Medusa" and "Mrs. Lazarus". The student focuses on features like imagery, tense, rhetorical questions, word choices, etc.

Comment: The student focuses on a range of features and authorial choices throughout the analysis of "Medusa" and "Mrs. Lazarus". The student focuses on features like imagery, tense, rhetorical questions, word choices, etc.

Comment: The student focuses on the way that Duffy portrays diverse transformations in the work. The student discusses the imposed inferiority of women but also demonstrates the final acts of rebellion and gaining the freedom of independence. Therefore, the student makes convincing claims about the thesis statement.

Comment: The student focuses on the way that Duffy portrays diverse transformations in the work. The student discusses the imposed inferiority of women but also demonstrates the final acts of rebellion and gaining the freedom of independence. Therefore, the student makes convincing claims about the thesis statement.

Comment: The student focuses on the way that Duffy portrays diverse transformations in the work. The student discusses the imposed inferiority of women but also demonstrates the final acts of rebellion and gaining the freedom of independence. Therefore, the student makes convincing claims about the thesis statement.

Comment: The student does not evaluate the effectiveness of the choices and features as the student does not frequently link back to the emotions or thoughts evoked by the readers. The student would be advised to dedicate a sentence in each paragraph to discussing the emotions evoked in readers through various techniques. The student could write, "This may reinforce the devastating effects of patriarchal thinking to the reader."

Comment: The student focuses on the idea that the poems explore how the patriarchy enforces the transformation of women.

Comment: The analysis, interpretations, and conclusions are highly related to the transformation of women enforced by the patriarchy. The student concludes each paragraph with a strong link to the effects of the patriarchy on women.