Comment: From this part, it is evident that the student's perspective on the world and femininity is not solely based on personal experiences and thoughts but is also informed by scientific data. This indicates that she is discerning and does not rely solely on appealing ideas, but instead uses empirical evidence to form her opinions and worldview.

Comment: The applicant demonstrates bravery by acting differently from the mainstream, finding fulfillment in her independent views. The author describes their independence from societal norms and how it affects their outlook on femininity and themselves, rather than simply stating they disagree with them. The admissions officers will look for signs of the applicant's strong traits and the use of the "show don't tell" approach is highly effective in achieving it.

Comment: The student doesn't just express her desire to help women. She explicitly states her goal of becoming an OB/GYN to provide daily help to them. This demonstrates how concrete and specific her plans are, and how committed she is to pursuing her dreams.