Comment: Starting an essay with this sentence is effective and powerful because it conveys a lot in just a few words. It's short but carries a big message. It's not just about not seeing colors right; it's about who this student is and how they see the world. Saying this at the beginning of an essay makes people think and reflect. It makes the reader wonder what the essay is really going to be about.

Comment: This sentence is not correct in terms of proper language usage. In the first sentence of the essay, the student writes about being color blind, which is not a particular event. However, the second sentence implies that it is, in fact, an event ('it happened'). What could be better is combining the first two sentences into one: 'I've been color blind since I was fifteen,' or just getting rid of the second sentence.

Comment: This sentence shows how tough it can be to ignore harmful stereotypes and assumptions, but doing so helps people understand and connect with others better. It's good for college admission essays because it demonstrates the applicant's awareness of social issues and their ability to empathize, which are important qualities for building diverse and inclusive communities on campus.